Loving You
by Heartlocker
Summary: Santana and Brittany are in college and Santana deals with coming out. What will she do when tragedy strikes? Is she strong enough to help Brittany make it through?
1. Chapter 1

_Santana Lopez, a small brunette walked across the playground to the swings. She sat down and began pushing herself, watching the other second-graders play around her. In the distance, she noticed a blonde girl in between a couple boys at the edge of the basketball court. It looked like they were being mean to her, which was a daily occurrence during recess. There were always bullies out there, making fun of other kids. Santana didn't like that they did it, but no one really messed with her because she was never afraid to stand up for herself. Usually watching these boys bully someone wouldn't bother her, but the girl looked really helpless. Plus, usually they picked on other boys and would leave girls alone. One of the boys pulled the girls hair and pushed her to the ground and the girls started crying and Santana decided she had seen enough. She jumped off the swing and ran over to the boys. _

"_Hey, leave her alone!" she screamed loudly as she pushed the older boy. _

"_Or else what? You gonna run tell mommy?" the boy mocked. Santana looked over and saw the blonde girl on the ground crying. She wasn't sure why she got so angry at them after seeing her like that, but she turned back around and pulled her fist back and acted like she was going to punch him. _

"_Hey! I'm telling," the kid said as he stormed away from her, leaving Santana to tend to the crying girl. _

"_Are you okay?" Santana asked softly as she helped the girl stand up and saw that her knee and palms were bleeding from falling on the ground. _

"_Yes, those boys are big jerks," the blonde said through her tears, "They called me dumb and started pulling my hair." _

"_I don't think they'll mess with you anymore because I've got your back. I'm Santana," Santana explained as she helped the girl fix her hair that had been messed up by the boys. _

"_I'm Brittany. Thank you for coming and saving me from them," Brittany said with a sweet smile. _

"_No problem. You want me to walk you to the nurse's office so we can clean up your scrapes," Santana offered as she pointed out the wounds on Brittany's hands and leg. Brittany nodded and Santana put her arm around her and led her to the nurse's office. _

Santana smiled as she remembered that day that they met so many years ago. She wasn't sure what it was that had drawn them together, whether it was fate or destiny, but she did know that she had never been the same since. She looked next to her in the bed and saw Brittany sleeping peacefully. The same look of innocence she had that day on the playground spread across her face. She was the only thing good in this miserable world. She was the only thing that helped her remember to breathe every day. She was the only thing that made her get out of bed every morning and helped her fall asleep at night. Even if Brittany was confused by what they were and by their relationship, she knew deep down that it meant something to her. Santana had used her naivety to her advantage so many times over the years so that Brittany would be okay with doing the things Santana had wanted to do with her.

Brittany began to wake up and smiled when she saw Santana lying next to her still. Lately, Santana had been getting up and leaving before Brittany woke up when she would stay over to get to class early. At least, that's the reason Santana gave her.

"You're still here," Brittany said groggily.

"Yeah," Santana replied softly. Santana pulled her closer to her so Brittany was lying on her chest with her arms encircled around her waist.

"You've been leaving a lot lately," Brittany pouted, "I don't get any morning cuddles or sweet lady kisses to start the day anymore."

"Well I'm here right now," Santana replied as she kissed her forehead.

To be honest, she really didn't know why she had been skipping out on Brittany. Maybe it was easier in the heat of the moment for her to express how she felt. There was no doubt in her mind that she loved Brittany, but this relationship was starting to get confusing, for both of them. Santana had convinced herself and Brittany for so long that them being together wasn't cheating on their boyfriends. Little had changed since high school. They came to college and Brittany started dating some guy she met. Santana knew she wanted to be with her. She had been outed a few years back, but she still wasn't even sure that Brittany felt the same we she did. Brittany liked having sex. She liked going on dates because Santana paid. She liked to cuddle. Santana had pushed out her feelings so much, that Brittany wouldn't even share hers with her because she knew Santana would get uncomfortable.

"I love you," Brittany said quietly. As if she had been inside Santana's head reading her thoughts, she lifted her head up and gently kissed her. "But I don't like it when you just leave me in the morning. You never used to do that. It makes me feel weird, like we had a one-night stand or something."

"Is that what you think this is?" Santana said defensively, "A bunch of one night stands until you meet the right guy for you. Britt, what do you want me to do. We came to college and the first thing you did was start dating some guy. Of course, I'm going to feel unattached to you when you do that."

"But I don't get it. You didn't have a problem hooking up all through high school and both of us were with guys the whole time. You kept telling me that you were only using me when you felt like it because your man was gone. I actually like kissing you and sleeping with you. But I would like it better if you were honest about how you felt when we did it. You can't just pull me in front of locker, tell me you love me and then be honest for a little bit of time then suddenly start pulling away," Brittany said, clearly upset. Santana got up from under her and went into the bathroom angrily. Brittany knew she had upset her and waited a few minutes before gently knocking on the door. When there was no answer, she turned the knob and softly opened the door. Santana was sitting against the wall wiping the tears from her eyes. Brittany bent down next to her and took her hand in hers, just like Santana had all those years ago on the playground.

"I'm sorry for making you upset. I just want us both to be honest about how we feel. I know you don't like talking about it but I had no idea me dating Brett was going to hurt you like this because you didn't tell me how it was making you feel," Brittany explained as she wiped the tears from Santana's cheeks. "If you wanted us to be exclusive, you should've told me."

"It hurt me a lot Britt. I thought we had something and then just like with Artie, you chose the guy over me," Santana replied.

"Santana, I love you way more than some dumb guy I had a fling with. I just need for you to tell me how you're feeling. I need to know that we both are in this together and that it isn't about sex and making out," Brittany said softly as she gently lifted the Latina's chin. Brittany smiled at her and kissed her.

"I love you so much," Brittany said as she gently brought her hand up to Santana's neck and pulled her in to another deep kiss.

"I love you too Britt," Santana replied softly, "more than anyone in this world. I just want this to be you and me. No guys involved. Just Brittany and Santana. I want to be able to call you my girlfriend and take you wherever I want and hold your hand in front of everyone."

Santana knew that this was something she never thought she'd say. She knew how she felt but this was what Brittany needed for the two of them to be together. She had to show it more and reassure Brittany that her heart was in it. She knew that Brittany needed the emotional side in order to stay in this relationship. She knew that she needed the emotional side for this to truly be the relationship she had always wanted.

"I want that too, so much. I need to know that you're all in." Brittany stood up and took her hand to help her up from the ground.

"No more Brett, no more boys on the side. I might have to kill them," Santana smirked.

"I'm pretty sure they'd run away screaming before you could lay a hand on them," Brittany laughed.


	2. Strike Me Down

Santana walked across campus towards the student lot after her last class of the day. She saw Brittany talking to Brett and walked quickly past them, hoping Brittany wouldn't see her. She had thought she had avoided her, but the blonde soon caught up with her.

"How was class?" Brittany asked seeming oblivious to Santana's frustration.

"Fine," Santana said coldly. She quickened her step and made it to her car and got inside. Brittany got in on the passenger side. They drove all the way home in silence. When they arrived at Santana's apartment, Santana went straight to the bedroom and closed the door. Several minutes later, Brittany softly opened the door and found Santana sitting on the edge of the bed going through her notes from class.

"Why were you talking to Brett?" Santana asked angrily as she walked in.

"He just wanted to talk to me about something," Brittany replied. There was silence for a few minutes. Brittany came closer to her and sat next to her on the bed.

"Santana, look, I have to tell you something and it's gonna make you pretty upset. Brett asked me to marry him," Brittany explained. She knew this was going to hurt Santana, especially after the conversation they had that morning.

Santana could feel her heart stop for a moment with Brittany's words. She got up angrily."What about all that stuff you said about us being together?" she yelled as she stormed into the living room. She grabbed her keys off the table.

"Santana wait! Santana!" Brittany cried after her as she stormed out the door. Brittany sat on the couch and let the tears fall. She wished that Santana wouldn't get so angry so easily and would let her explain things before jumping to conclusions. She knew that Santana only did that because she loved her so much. Several hours passed by and Santana still hadn't come back. Brittany texted her 'I didn't say yes.' Hoping that Santana would read it and come back home. Brittany fell asleep on Santana's side of the bed after crying every last tear that was inside of her.

Santana looked at her phone and saw that a text from Brittany came through. She opened it and read the words she had written. Suddenly, she felt horrible for not staying long enough to let her explain. Once again her emotions for Brittany had gotten the best of her. Santana drove back home and gently opened the door. Her heart broke even more when she saw the sweet girl sleeping on her side of the bed with tear stained cheeks and Kleenexes on the floor. She walked over to the bed and got down on her knees in front of her and gently brushed the strands of hair out of her face. Brittany slowly opened her eyes. She pulled her closer to her and Santana laid down next to her and wrapped her arms around her waist.

"I'm sorry I stormed out and didn't let you explain," Santana said quietly. There was silence for a few minutes.

"I told him everything. That I wanted to be with you. He got mad and told me I could go to hell," Brittany said, clearly upset by his words. Santana felt horrible for thinking that Brittany would go through with it after everything they had been through. She couldn't help but feel a little better knowing that she had every inch of Brittany's heart.

"Fuck him, Brittany. It's not even worth getting upset about. But I do really want to kick his ass now, more than before," Santana replied angrily.

"You wanted to kick his ass before?" Brittany asked. She smiled at Santana's remark. She hadn't heard Santana get so defensive about her in a long time. For some reason, it made her happy to hear how much she cared about her.

"He was screwing with my girl. I'm not really a fan of a guy that tries to take my sweet lady kisses away from me," Santana replied. "Plus, he's an ass."

Brittany smirked at this and smiled at her.

"What are you looking at Britt?" She said lightheartedly trying to keep up her façade.

"Somebody loves me," Brittany said in a sing song voice that always made Santana smile. Santana melted at her comment just like she always did when Brittany started getting cute with her.

"When did I ever stop?" Santana said softly as she looked over at Brittany. Brittany reached over and took her hand in hers and put it over her heart and held it there.

"Feel that?" Brittany asked. Santana's breath caught in her throat at the sudden intimacy. Brittany's heart was racing. Santana nodded slowly.

"That always happens when I'm with you." Brittany stopped for a moment and let the feeling of Santana's touch linger. "There's too much love when I'm with you, so my heart has to beat ten times faster to hold it all in."

Santana was quiet and looked from her hand back up to Brittany's beautiful blue eyes. She could feel the tears welling up in her own at Brittany's look of sincerity. She reached over and took Brittany's other hand and placed it over her heart and held it there for a minute.

"Yours does it too," Brittany said with a smile. Santana nodded and pulled Brittany towards her. She kissed her softly and reached up and cupped her cheek in her hand as their kiss intensified. Brittany kissed her harder as she pushed her back against the bed so she could be on top of her. Brittany began slowly kissing her neck, which she knew was Santana's weak spot. Santana moaned at the first kiss. She gently unbuttoned her pants and reached down to her center. Santana shivered at her first touch as she made her way up the side of her thighs with her hand. Brittany inserted her fingers inside of her and Santana let out a moan. Her breathing was shallower and she let out a slight whimper which caught Brittany off guard. She stopped for a moment to see if Santana was alright. She lifted her head up and found tears streaming down Santana's face.

"Don't stop," Santana whispered through the tears as she held Brittany tightly and let the tears fall into her shoulder. Brittany gently kissed her neck and continued moving her fingers until Santana tightened her grip around Brittany's shoulders and the shockwaves took over her entire body.

"I love you," Brittany said softly as if she wanted to ingrain the words in her mind, "More than I've ever loved anyone." Santana's body went limp beneath her as the shockwaves ended. Brittany reached up and wiped the tears that were still on her cheeks.

"I'm the dork that cried during sex," Santana said softly as she wiped the tears away.

"Aw, it's okay. I like seeing this side of you. I know that I'm the only one that ever gets to see it. It makes it special to me." Brittany smiled and kissed her gently.

"I love you, B," Santana said as she hugged her.

* * *

><p>A few hours later Santana's phone rang. She looked over and saw it was Quinn and picked up.<p>

"Q, what's up?" Santana asked. She and Quinn had reconciled their friendship since high school. The two had become a lot closer once they started attending University of Ohio a few hours away from Lima.

"What are you doing tonight?" Quinn asked.

"Nothing, just hanging out with Brittany. Why do you ask?" Santana replied.

"Wrong! You two are going to a party with me and my new boyfriend," Quinn said excitedly.

"Ok, fine, where is this place?" Santana asked.

"2345 Oakwood. It's down the street from the campus. So you're coming right?" Quinn explained.

"Sure, we'll be there," Santana replied as she ended the call. She looked over at Brittany and smiled.

"We're going to a party with Quinn and her new boyfriend," Santana explained. She could care less about the party, but if Brittany was there she was sure that it would be fun.

There were so many people there when they arrived at the house that there was nowhere to park so they had to park a few blocks away. They walked into the house and quickly searched for Quinn. In the chaos of searching for Quinn, Brittany got separated from Santana. Santana ran into Quinn finally.

"Santana! I'm glad you're here. I missed you..soooo much," Quinn said, clearly already intoxicated. "This is Eli." Eli smiled as he tried to hold his girlfriend up so she wouldn't fall..

"He's hot right?" Quinn slurred.

"If you go for that sort of thing," Santana replied with a laugh.

"Where's Brittany?" Quinn asked, "I miss her too. Why didn't she come?" Santana looked around and saw her talking with some of her friends.

"She came, she's just talking with some friends," Santana explained nervously and she started scanning the room for her.

"Oh well, let's go get you a drink," Quinn said as she pulled her towards a table with bottles of alcohol on it. Santana made herself a screwdriver and started dancing with a few of her friends. She had a few more drinks and a couple hours went by. She realized she had lost track of Brittany.

"Hey Quinn, I'm gonna go look for Britt," Santana screamed above the music.

"Ok!" she said as she continued to dance with Eli. Santana walked all through the first floor of the house and couldn't find her. She walked upstairs and went into the first door she saw cracked open.

The bed was empty and it looked like no one was in the room. She heard a noise coming from the other room. The voice sounded familiar so she walked into the hall to listen a little closer.

"I'll show you what you're missing out on," the voice said forcefully. She heard a muffled sound, like someone's mouth was being covered. Santana threw open the door and found Brett on top of Brittany forcing her to have sex with him while he covered her mouth.

"What are you doing here? Here to save your little girlfriend?" Brett snarled, "Get out of here. She's happy being with a man."

"Get off of her you prick!" Santana screamed as she rushed over and pushed and hit him as hard as he knew how. She noticed that Brittany was barely conscious and realized that Brett probably drugged her.

"Get out or I'll call the fucking police Brett!" Santana yelled again. Quinn and Eli arrived and saw what was going on. Eli ran over and grabbed Brett's shirt and punched him in the face. Eli was much bigger than Brett so the hit threw him off the bed. Eli grabbed Brett by his shirt and dragged him downstairs as he tried to fight back. Santana rushed to Brittany.

"Brittany, baby, come on wake up," Santana screamed through her tears.

"San," Brittany said softly as tears started to fill her eyes. "I just couldn't stop him. Don't be mad. Don't leave me."

"I'm not mad baby. I'm not going anywhere," Santana choked out. Brittany nodded and linked her hand with hers as she tried to sit up and fell forward. Santana caught her and held her up and she realized Brittany was really out of it and acted like she'd been drugged. She was so angry she could barely think straight. She knew she had to get her help.

"Quinn help me get her dressed, we gotta get her to a hospital. I don't know what he gave her," Santana said as she quickly found Brittany's shirt and put it on her. Quinn handed her Brittany's pants and underwear and turned away as Santana put them on her. She noticed the bed between Brittany's legs was bright red and started crying even more. "Quinn she's bleeding!" Santana screamed.

"We need to hurry! Eli, can you carry her down to the car?" Quinn asked as he came back in the room.

"Yeah, Brett is sitting out in the front yard. My fists had a little 'chat' with him about doing things like that to girls. The cops are on their way here to pick him up," Eli said as he walked over to the bed.

"Just be careful, I'm pretty sure she's hurt," Santana said worriedly as she wiped the tears from her eyes. Brittany squeezed her hand tighter and wouldn't let go as Eli gently picked her up. The three rushed down to the car. Santana got in the back seat and Eli laid Brittany across so her head was in Santana's lap. Santana gently brushed the hair out of her face with her hand and used the water bottle and towel she found in the back to make a compress and gently pressed it against her forehead and cheeks. Brittany came back to consciousness for a few minutes.

"You….saved my life," Brittany mumbled as she linked her hand with Santana's hand that was lying across her waist. Brittany moved a little and winced at the pain her hand moved over her midsection.

"Are you hurting baby?" Santana asked worriedly. Brittany nodded. "Shh..It's ok, we're going to the hospital."

"Hurry Eli," Quinn said as she saw the look of fear on Santana's face. The arrived at the hospital and Brittany had completely passed out. Santana wasn't sure if it was from loss of blood or from the drug, whatever he gave her. Eli rushed inside and the doctor's rushed out with a gurney. They gently pulled Brittany out and onto the gurney to wheel her inside. Santana looked down and saw the blood on her hand as she followed them in. Tears flooded her eyes as they wheeled her back.

"Did you tell them everything Eli?" Santana asked through the tears as Quinn hugged her.

"Yeah, hopefully they can get enough evidence to convict Brett so he doesn't get away with this," Eli explained. They all sat in the waiting room and waited patiently to hear about what was going on with her.

They all sat in silence and awaited the word on how she was doing. Santana would make sure that he was convicted for hurting her girlfriend if it was the last thing she did.


	3. Nightmares

**Author's Note: Thank so much for the favorite story/story alerts! Reviews are always nice too, so leave me your thoughts on the story. **

* * *

><p>"Is anyone here for Brittany Pierce?" A doctor announced loudly as he walked into the waiting room. All of them stood up and walked over.<p>

"How is she?" Santana asked worriedly.

"She's doing okay right now considering the circumstances. It looks like she was given a common date rape drug so we had to make sure that her system wasn't overdosed. She wasn't given enough to make her pass out so that is wearing off as we speak. We had to give her blood because she suffered a large amount of blood less during the incident and had some internal lacerations. We are monitoring her for the next day or two to make sure an infection doesn't pop up from those. Also, we did a rape kit so we should know more by tomorrow about what evidence was collected. You guys did a good thing bringing her here immediately."

"The fucking bastard! I can't believe he did this to her," Santana yelled angrily. She realized she was overreacting when everyone in the room started staring and Quinn placed her hand on her arm.

"Hey, let's try to stay calm," Quinn said softly.

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

"I'm guessing you are the girlfriend she keeps asking about," the doctor replied. Santana nodded. "You can come back with me so you can see her."

"Okay," Santana said as she smiled to herself that Brittany was asking for her 'girlfriend'. They arrived in the room and Santana walked over to Brittany's side and took her hand in hers.

"She's sedated for now. She was pretty upset while everything was going on around her because she was still drugged up so we had to sedate her," the doctor explained. "Everything is looking good. She's very lucky she had someone like you there looking out for her. These situations often turn out a lot worse."

"Thank you so much for everything doctor," Santana replied as a tear fell from her eye and slid down her cheek.

"One more thing. I know it's too soon to tell anything, but it's likely that there was no protection involved and I didn't see anything saying she was on birth control so pregnancy can sometimes be an outcome," the doctor explained. "It might be good for you to talk about what you would want to do if that were the circumstance rather than be surprised by it if it happens."

Santana's heart dropped. If she were pregnant with that jerk's baby, they would never get him out of their lives. Santana hoped and prayed that that wouldn't be the case. The doctor left and she examined the beautiful blonde lying in front of her. Her usual angelic appearance was marred by the bruises on her face and neck. Santana wanted revenge against that jerk. She would make sure he paid for what he did to her girl. Santana softly kissed her lips and Brittany squeezed her hand as her eyes fluttered open.

"Mmmm, where are we?" Brittany said groggily. Santana could tell that she was not quite back to reality and was probably sleep talking.

"Wherever you want us to be," Santana replied as she brushed her cheek with the back of her hand.

"In a land of gumdrops and butterflies where we can eat cotton candy together all day," Brittany mumbled as she pulled Santana closer and tried to scoot over to make room for her but winced in pain.

"Don't move baby," Santana got into the bed with her and cuddled up by her side, their fingers intertwined. Santana kissed her hand softly. Her heart ached for the pain that she knew this was going to cause for her. The road to recovery was going to be long and hard. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. Her sweet girlfriend was never going to be the same. She drifted off to sleep, hoping that she would stay strong enough to help her get through this.

* * *

><p><em>He grabbed her arms and held her down against the bed. She wanted to scream so bad, but every time she tried no sound came out. As she struggled to fight him off she felt herself getting lightheaded and losing feeling in her arms and legs. She suddenly felt like she was floating and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get her body to cooperate. Brett pulled off her skirt and began forcing himself into her. <em>

"No Brett!" Brittany screamed as she jolted awoke from a nightmare in a cold sweat. Her breathing was rapid and her heart thudded in her chest as she sat up. She shook it off and realized that she had just had another nightmare. She got up from the bed and Santana woke up from the movement. Santana looked at the clock and saw that it was still the middle of the night. As she heard the bathroom door close, she figured that Brittany had awoke from a nightmare again and was trying to clear her head before going back to bed. She heard soft sobs in the bathroom and got up to go check on her. She softly knocked on the door.

"Britt, babe, you in there?" Santana asked knowingly. After getting no answer she turned the knob and found her crying on the floor again. It had been nearly the same scene that had played out every night since that night. She sat down next to her and pulled her into her arms. She kissed her forehead and let her cry into her chest as she rubbed her back.

"Shhh, it's okay Britt," Santana whispered.

"I'm sorry San," she said through her tears.

"Come on B, let's go back to bed," Santana said lovingly as she wiped the tears from her face. Brittany nodded and took her hand and Santana led her back to the bed. Santana covered both of them with the blanket and Brittany immediately nuzzled into Santana's frame, encircling her arms around her waist. Santana smiled at the closeness, even if it was just for comfort.

"I can't stop thinking about it," Brittany whispered. It's the first time she had spoken about the dream since she came back from the hospital. Usually, the two just laid in silence until they both fell asleep and didn't talk about again until the next time Santana dragged her back into bed.

"I know. I can't imagine how hard this is," Santana replied softly as she ran her fingers through her blonde locks.

"I feel like he took everything from me. How could someone be so cruel?" Brittany said as more tears started forming in her eyes.

"There's one thing he could never take," Santana replied as she gently lifted Brittany's chin so she was facing her. "How wonderful and amazing a person you are and how much I adore you." Santana still had a hard time with expressing her feelings but with Brittany it was becoming easier and easier to express how she felt. She kissed her forehead softly and Brittany smiled for the first time in the past month.


End file.
